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How to Go Dairy-Free While Breastfeeding

Can I just say that going dairy-free while breastfeeding should be considered cruel and unusual punishment?

If you’ve ever breastfed a baby, you know the hunger is REAL. When I’m breastfeeding, I eat like a teenage boy: constantly, abundantly, and unhealthily. All I want is sugar, snacks, and fried food.

So when I found out my baby had a dairy intolerance at 6 weeks old, and was thrust violently into the world of dairy-free living, it was downright devastating.

How I'm Surviving as a Dairy-Free Breastfeeding Mom

First of all, at that phase of newborn life, I was basically surviving on chocolate and ice cream alone.

Second of all, I had a freezer full of meals from friends and family that I was relying on to feed myself and my family – because who has time to cook with a newborn and a toddler?! – and suddenly I wasn’t able to eat any of them.

Going dairy-free while breastfeeding is extremely intimidating. Dairy is in everything. I mean ev-er-y-thing.

At the time of your life when you need the convenience and ease of prepackaged meals and snacks more than ever, the idea of having to think at all about what you eat is beyond overwhelming.

But I’ve got good news for you: I’ve now been eating dairy-free while breastfeeding for 3.5 months, and I am neither malnourished, nor depressed (both of which I was seriously concerned about at first).

Here’s what I’ve learned, after making many mistakes, getting “dairy-ed” more times than I can remember, and reading the labels of basically every single thing in the grocery store (like Trader Joe’s – be sure to check out my list of the best dairy-free items at Trader Joe’s).

How to Know if Your Newborn Has a Dairy Intolerance:

The number 1 question I get asked is, “how do I know if my baby has a dairy intolerance?” Unfortunately, the answer isn’t all that simple. Some of the key symptoms are:

  • Excessive, projectile spit-up
  • Extreme gassiness
  • Reflux
  • Slimy, mucousy stools
  • Blood in stools

The problem is, most of these things can occur independently and be perfectly normal, or as a result of something totally different. Newborns are fun like that; everything is a guessing game.

What Our Baby’s Dairy Intolerance Looked Like:

The main sign I noticed that suggested our baby had a dairy intolerance was that she had been spitting up a lot, and it had steadily been increasing. Over the course of her six weeks, she’d gradually gone from the occasional bubble-up, to having multiple, volcano-like spit-ups per day.

Every single day, she’d have at least one gas-induced screamfest, which rendered her inconsolable for 30-45 minutes. She was an otherwise extremely happy, easygoing baby, so it was clear that something was wrong when these fits occurred.

She also constantly had a rattley, raspy sound in her chest (like she always needed to clear her throat), caused by either reflux or mucous.

Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back and made me investigate a dairy allergy was her poop – it changed from the normal, mustard yellow, seedy texture, to a bright orange, slimy, goopy mess. I won’t get too graphic on you, but words cannot do this horrific poop justice (and she’s our second – we’d seen some nasty poop before).

What To Do If You Suspect Your Baby Has a Dairy Intolerance:

The best thing you can do, of course, is talk to your pediatrician about it. Mine recommended that we just test out going dairy-free (and by “we,” I mean “I,” because as the breastfeeding mom of the family, I was the only one who had to endure this dairy-free diet), and see if there was an improvement.

While it takes 2-3 weeks for dairy to completely cycle out of both mom and baby’s systems, you should see a significant improvement within 48-72 hours of cutting it out if there is an intolerance.

We saw a complete shift in our baby’s demeanor and amount of spit-up within about 36 hours, and every time I accidentally eat something with dairy in it (which happens way more often that I’d like to admit), we see a sharp uptick in spit-up and gas about 4 – 6 hours later.

How to Go Dairy-Free While Breastfeeding – 7 Tips:

1. Check EVERY label for dairy ingredients.

No matter how unlikely you think it is that something would have milk in it, always read the label. I’ve been burned many times eating something I thought surely couldn’t possibly have dairy in it… only to be met with an angry, gassy, projectile-pukey baby a few hours later.

Thankfully, most products will have a bolded allergen list at the end of their ingredients list, so you don’t have to read and interpret every single ingredient. Just look for “CONTAINS: MILK” at the end of the list.

food label highlighting bolded allergen warning for dairy-free breastfeeding moms

2. Look up restaurant menus in advance for dairy-free options.

Going out to eat is now an extremely stressful experience. You can never be completely confident that a restaurant will offer dairy-free options, or that dairy won’t be hiding somewhere in the cooking process. Whether it’s a batter that contains milk, or vegetables sautéed in butter, you just can’t always know what’s happening in the kitchen.

So always look up the menu before you go, and pick two or three items that appear to have no dairy to ask the waiter about.

I’ve found that if you tell them you have a dairy allergy, and ask nicely, most places are pretty accommodating. Always give specific questions for the waiter to ask the kitchen, like “is this fish cooked in butter?” or “does that marinade contain buttermilk?” or “does the bun have butter on top?”

You’ll quickly learn the things most people completely overlook in the world of dairy, and can start to look out for the big dairy offenders.

3. Look for foods labeled as “Vegan.”

If something is labeled as vegan, on a restaurant menu or on product packaging, you’re safe, look no further! By definition, vegan foods can have no animal by product, including cow’s milk.

I still need meat, so a lot of times I’ll choose something vegan, then add chicken or shrimp.

4. Embrace the coconut and oat milk.

Apparently, the best substitute for cow’s milk is coconut milk. Almond milk is fine for a lot of things, but when it comes to thick, creamy recipes, coconut milk tends to work best. I’m not crazy about coconut – I don’t hate it, necessarily, but I don’t really care for it either. However, I’ve had to get on board to indulge my cravings for all things creamy – ice cream, whipped cream, yogurt, etc.

My new favorite dairy substitute, however, is oat milk. It’s creamy and sweet, and it’s perfect for lattes.

5. Put avocado on everything.

Anytime you would want cheese on something, use avocado instead. If you’d use ranch dressing, try guacamole instead.

I won’t pretend it’ll make you forget about glorious, melty, gooey, dairy-filled, cheesy deliciousness (…what was I talking about again…?), but it’ll at least make it your dairy-free meal tolerable. And maybe even tasty in its own right – just in a different way.

avocado toast as the perfect dairy-free option

6. Get used to Asian cuisine.

When in doubt, choose Asian food. Asian food is typically pretty universally dairy-free. Always double-check ingredients to be sure, of course, but you’ll have lots to choose from, which is rare.

7. Watch out for these surprisingly NOT dairy-free items:

  • Chicken tenders
  • Hamburger buns (some are safe, some are not)
  • Ramen noodles
  • Corn dogs
  • Protein bars

Dairy-Free Meals to Make While Breastfeeding

Of course, the hardest part of any major diet change is re-learning how to cook for yourself and your family. Since my daughter and I are the only dairy-free ones in our family, it can be tough to find meal ideas that are dairy-free, but still appealing to my son and husband.

Over the past few months, I’ve honed several go-to recipes that check all the boxes – satiate my nursing cravings, while also abiding by my dairy-free diet requirements while breastfeeding.

Going Dairy-Free While Breastfeeding – You can do it!

It’s taken me over three months to learn these tips (mostly by failure), so if you’re just starting out this journey, give it time! It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, by far.

I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes – my first dairy-free weekend, I ate buttered movie theater popcorn, waffles, and chocolate-covered pretzels, without even thinking twice that they might have milk in them.

There has been a huge learning curve, so consider yourself ahead of the game, now that you have these tips in your back pocket.

Dairy-free moms, share any other tips you have in the comments!

How I'm Surviving as a Dairy-Free Breastfeeding Mom

Cami

Friday 22nd of September 2023

Thank you for this! I’m just wondering, did you become lactose intolerant after you had to go dairy free and went back to eating dairy? Of course I’ll do anything for my little but I’m worried I’ll become lactose intolerant since I already have a history of IBS!

Crys

Wednesday 28th of December 2022

This was extremely helpful as I have been recommended to try going dairy free due to pooping issues with my 7 week old. I want the best for her and I can't see a dietician for a few weeks so this helps me at least get started on my own. I also appreciate the Trader Joe's list.

Aud

Saturday 17th of December 2022

Thank you for sharing this and the Trader Joe’s article! My kid is 6months and I’m just now experimenting with going dairy free due to some butt issues. Ped recommends trying to cut the dairy and soy to start, so I’m hoping this helps her! But oh man I am such a dairy eater so this holiday will be challenging -goodbye buttery milk chocolatey baked goods and hello vegan butter and oat milk substitutes!

Kat

Tuesday 20th of September 2022

Thank you! You have captured all of the emotions so perfectly. We are only 5 full days in to the dairy free life and man it's hard when you're used to having it regularly. I miss butter... But my girl is spewing vomit so much less now so it feels worth it.

It helps knowing others are suffering through too!

Elizabeth

Wednesday 10th of August 2022

Thank you so much for this and your recipe links! I am 6 weeks in on dairy free breastfeeding now and you hit the nail on the head about those initial feelings. I also read your Trader Joe's list during the middle of the night nursing and I am now so hungry!