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Proof That You Can Always Call Your Dad for Help

So, one day last week, I was just living my life, trying to take care of (aka, survive) the toddler and get through another mealtime, when something terrible happened. Something that knocked me off my feet, and that I knew would require the big guns – aka, my dad. 

And because dads are awesome, he came running. That’s right, at 30 years old, with a kid of my own, I can still call my daddy when I’m in need, and he’ll still come save the day (no matter how ridiculous my request may or may not be). 

I thought the trauma of the situation was behind me, but apparently, I was wrong. Unfortunately (for me), my dad is an epically good writer, and he decided to write a guest post so he could humiliate me forever – because that’s what dads do. 

So with that, enjoy your laugh at my expense for the day:

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The 8 Stages of Dinnertime with a Toddler

Remember before you had kids, when your dinnertime was a cherished time to unwind with your spouse, catch up on each other’s days, discuss the latest world events, and just be connected?

Or – let’s be real – a time to eat on the couch, watch TV, and play on Facebook next to your spouse while you both zone out after an exhausting day of work?

Dinnertime with a toddler is basically the same as that, if you did all of those things while wrestling a rattlesnake. Not only is it physically exhausting you from its surprising strength for its size, but you’re actually afraid for your life because it could bite you at any moment. But at the same time, you and the snake both gotta eat, so you’re just powering through and trying to get at least half the plate of food into your mouths before one of you completely breaks (and we all know which one of you it’s going to be).

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Why I Won’t Be Spring Cleaning This Year

It’s that time of year when Pinterest is flooded with things like “How to Spring Clean Your House in One Day” and “Spring Cleaning Your Whole House in 3 Easy Steps”.

I scroll through, blindly pinning them all to my Home-themed board like some kind of fool, pretending that one day I’ll actually use one of them.

But we all know that’s a lie.

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8 Benefits of Having a Terrible Toddler

Toddlers are monsters. We all know this. We don’t need another mommy blog post regaling all the ways our toddlers terrorize us on a daily basis.

What we do need is a shift in perspective. Yes, your child is going to be a deranged lunatic for at least 2 more years, but let’s look on the bright side, shall we?

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The Only Thing Worse Than a Sick Baby

There is nothing worse than a sick baby. So helpless, so weak, so completely pathetic. They sleep all day, and when they’re awake, they just whine and groan, and there’s nothing you can do to make them feel better.

Oh wait, I’m sorry, did I say “baby” up there? I meant “husband.” There’s nothing worse than a sick husband.

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