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Car Seats are the Devil’s Handiwork

Car Seats are the Devil's Handiwork | One Hangry Mama

Yes, yes, I know, car seats save a lot of lives. Our parents shuttled us around in plastic buckets in the passenger seats of their cars, and it’s a miracle any of us survived that. But that doesn’t mean modern-day car seats weren’t created by an evil sadist who wants to watch the world burn.

Think about it. They’re absolutely essential to our lives–your child literally can’t leave home without it–and yet, they’re terrible. Even the most expensive, top-of-the-line seats, that are supposedly faster to install, easier to clean, and quicker to get your kid in and out of are a complete pain in the ass, in every possible way (lookin’ at you, Chicco NextFit Zip).

Raise your hand if you’ve gotten in a screaming match with your spouse over a car seat installation. 🙋

Raise your hand if you’ve broken a sweat wrestling with the straps of your car seat. 🙋

Raise your hand if you’ve gotten your baby out of the seat, only to discover he was in it incorrectly the entire ride. 🙋

Raise your hand if you’ve contemplated going all Office Space on your car seat at any given point while using it. 🙋🙋🙋

So, car seat manufacturers, I ask you: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?

Why do you make it so we’re never confident that our seat is actually installed correctly? We don’t need that kind of stress in our lives.

Why do you make it so hard to get the covers off to clean? Do you know how much milk these things are exposed to?

Why are the straps so hard to tighten? Do you know how fatigued my arms are after lugging around a 22-pound squirming bag of cats all day long?

Why are they so clunky? So complex? So damn EXPENSIVE? Why are you the way that you are?

You are lucky you keep my kid so safe, car seats. I look forward to the day that he’s big enough not to need you anymore, so I can send you straight back to the depths of hell where you came from.

Car seats are the worst. They're suck. Here's why.